Long time no blog! I am not sure if anyone even reads this anymore, but I am putting it out there in cyberspace anyways.
For lent this year I gave up Facebook, which has been surprisingly good! I started a meditation program based on a book I got at the library and it seems to be helping things. My husband and I decided to take 6 months off from worrying about getting pregnant (well, 6 months for ME to stop worrying...he says he hasn't been worried) and the meditation had me feeling hopeful about the future. Then this month I started spotting 4 days before my expected period and by the day of my expected period it hadn't gotten much heavier so I took a pregnancy test and got a very, very light positive (or so I thought...it was VERY light). I immediately called my doctor and they scheduled me for a blood draw to check hcg and progesterone the next morning (that would have been last Tuesday). I cancelled the appointment after I started seeing bright red blood and got a negative on a digital test the morning of the appointment. I assumed I had imagined that light positive the day before. But as of yesterday I was still bleeding (day 7 of pretty heavy bleeding) so my doctor had me come in for an hcg test and a thyroid level test. The hcg results came in about 2 hours ago...my hcg level confirmed that I had (am having?) a miscarriage. I am going in tomorrow for a pelvic ultrasound to check for any physical issues that may have caused this and the continuing bleeding I am having and to recheck the hcg to make sure it is falling as fast as they want it to.
For 18 months we've been trying and now this. I feel so numb. I really don't think anything could have prevented this, but I am kicking myself for not going to my previous appointment last week. Any prayers would be so appreciated as I figure out what is going on and wait for the bleeding to stop.