5 Months!

Felicia at 5 months:

At 5 months, Felicia:
* has 2 teeth!
* is learning to drink from a cup
* has the biggest smiles for her Papa
* likes to feel the grass with her feet
* loves to chew on her toes
* laughs when put in the kangaroo hold in Mom's ring sling
* picks up anything and everything within her reach (notice the block arc looking funny? Silly girl kept reaching up and grabbing them!)
* WILL bite you! We are working on this, but watch out!
* has been asked to be a flower girl next May! (Mom may be more excited about that one!)

Family Planning after Infertility and Pregnancy

At my 6 week postpartum check-up, my doctor asked about birth control. She prefaced her question with, "I know birth control can be hard to stomach after all of the trouble you went through to get pregnant..." After a little chat about my endometriosis, my concerns about hormonal birth control (which I have never used), condoms (which we have also never used), and Natural Family Planning (NFP), she suggested condoms until we are open to expanding our family. I continued the discussion with The Bee later that evening and we decided to stick with NFP as we have all along. Unfortunately with breastfeeding, signs have been very hard to read so there hasn't been much romance around here (that, and the fact that my husband is rarely home).  The chance of my fertility (which is subpar to begin with) returning this early is slim to none, given that I am currently ecological breastfeeding and co-sleeping, and of course I have endometriosis, a disease that is the cause of my infertility.

In the days of our infertility before our daughter came along, I thought I would be open to as many babies as close together as they happened to come. I have always wanted 3-4 kids and we got a later start than we planned to. I mean, if we had a baby when we originally thought we would, we'd be trying for #2 right about now. After a couple of years of infertility and currently having a five-month-old babe, I am faced with a reality that I never really considered before. I have lots of questions and concerns swimming in my head almost constantly:

• How would F handle having a sibling at various ages (specifically before age 2.5 or so)?
• How would my body handle another pregnancy so soon after F?
• Does it even make sense to "worry" about getting pregnant again with all of the trouble we had the first time around?
• What would it mean for my career? I don't have any leave saved anymore and I don't make enough for it to be worth working as many hours as I do while paying for 2 young children to be in daycare. Our plan (as if we have any control/choice in things, we know planning is really a joke in the world of infertility) is for F to be enrolled in the preschool at my school before we'd have another babe to find care for. 
• If we avoid pregnancy using NFP or other means, is it wasting the only time we may potentially have to become pregnant again?
• Would a second child, if conceived sooner than expected, have poorer health than our first born because my nutrient stores haven't been replenished yet? I read an article about this and it said that 2-3 years between pregnancies is ideal for maximum baby health, lower risk of allergies, higher IQ, etc.
• Will I forgive myself if we wait 1.5-2 years before trying again and it never happens? We already know we will likely have trouble given my endometriosis. 
• How long will we try before giving up the dream of a sibling or 2 for F? 
• Will adoption be a feasible option? We have talked about it and have been open to it, but we know it is a time consuming, expensive endeavor that may not work out even if we do everything 'right'. (Does it make any of your blood boil when people say, "Why don't you just adopt?" as if it is as easy as going to the pet store for a goldfish? It makes me crazy!)

I know for those of you still waiting for your baby these may seem like ridiculous or even shallow concerns. Let me tell you, I wasn't worried about these things until about 6 months ago! How do you feel now about how close you would like children?

For those of you who have a child/children after struggling with infertility, what are your family planning ideas/concerns? 

Facebook faux pas

I started this post and it got really (really!!) long so I am going to break it down and just focus on one faux pas for now!

When I was in my darkest days waiting (and waiting, and waiting) in the uncertainty and sadness of our infertility I started unsubscribing from certain facebook "friends." I didn't unfriend them for 2 reasons:

1. I was afraid they would notice and confront me (this goes for friends that I still see IRL)

2. I am nosey and like the ability to look at pictures on my own terms

The people that I unsubscribed from had certain commonalities, such as:

1. They were pregnant or already had children

2. They posted things about how much they loved being part of the "mommy club" (*barf* I will NEVER say that!) or how being a mom is the hardest, or most rewarding job they have ever had, or how their life had no meaning before having babies (ummmm...maybe you need to GET A LIFE then, people! Having kids changes things, for sure, but I HAD A LIFE before and many parts of it were darn amazing!)

3. They posted things about being "proud" of being pregnant

4. They complained about their children in non-funny ways

5. They used certain adjectives to describe their own children 

Now that I am a mom, I thought I would be less sensitive. While I no longer cry, I still get very annoyed by certain types of talk. Here is the first on my list of facebook faux pas. 

1. Saying "awwww" about your own kids/what your own kids did. "Awwww" is an acceptable response to what other people's kids have done (always acceptable for pets, as well). If you "awww" about your own kids, plan on making me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Do any of you have certain types of talk that annoy you on facebook? I hope that I don't annoy people when I post about my family or daughter, but I do wonder sometimes if I am committing a facebook faux pas in the opinion of some of my friends!