Hey, ladies. I have a situation that I need some input on. A friend of mine and my husband's from high school (he was an usher in our wedding almost 5 years ago) has started pursuing one of my little sisters for dates (via private messages on facebook, she told me about it and has been asking a zillion questions about our friend). She is 7 years younger than us (we've been out of high school for 10 years now so I'll let you do the math). Our friend has not mentioned any of this to us even though we have seen him several times since he started messaging her. It all seems sneaky and creepy. As a first date he invited her skydiving(!) with a bunch of our other friends (my husband wanted to go but we already had plans to visit a friend in a neighboring state the weekend they are doing it so our friend knows we won't be there) but she declined the invitation.
My husband and I are not really in favor of them dating for several reasons:
- the 7 year age difference
- she is my little sister (I am protective of all 4 of my sisters and my little brother, my husband has known her since she was 10 and thinks of her as a little sister, too)
- some things I don't want to mention here about my friend (he is good friend material, but not boyfriend material, in my opinion)
- it will make hanging out with our friends awkward when they are around together
- if there is a break up it could alter/end our friendship
The thought of the whole thing makes me pretty angry and uncomfortable. My husband feels the same way. My sister is flattered and clearly enjoys the attention from an older guy. How would you feel in this situation? She is over 18, but SHE IS MY LITTLE SISTER! Isn't there an unspoken rule between friends about not dating eachother's little sisters? Am I overreacting? They have only met twice (5 years ago at our wedding when my sister was 16 and 4 years ago at a concert they both happened to be at when my sister was 17). They hadn't had any other contact until he friended her on facebook and started messaging her at the beginning of May. She had a pretty bad break-up a year and a half ago and hasn't dated anyone since. He hasn't been in a relationship since 5 years ago when he had a bad break-up from a pretty serious relationship (we liked his girlfriend! they gave us a rice cooker as a wedding gift!). What would you say to my sister? I haven't been the most supportive of the idea and she keeps asking me the same things over again like she wants me to change my answers. Would you say anything to our friend?
While I always wanted a little sister this is one the reasons I'm glad that I don't. I just think you need to tell your sister your honest opinion and then just leave it all up to her.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Megan. Tell her your concerns but ultimately - it's up to her. Sometimes things people perceive as bad doesn't end up bad at all. Or sometimes they do and you'll be there for her because you love her & she's your baby sister.
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