Almost radio silence on Monday's post (thanks for your thoughts, Megan!). I've been doing some reading on grief, so hopefully I will know what to do/say next time I see her/write to her/call her. In my research I realized that I hadn't even considered how hard Mother's Day will be for her. Her first Mother's Day and her little boy won't be with her. On Mother's Day, he will have been gone for almost exactly 5 months. He should have been 7 months old in May. I'll be sending some sort of "thinking of you" card and maybe a seed packet of forget-me-nots.
Moving on to ironing...
This morning, my husband got home around 3am, after leaving for work TUESDAY MORNING AT 8:30am. His job is out of control and craptastic to the max right now. Well, this morning he had to go to a client's office instead of his regular office, so he wanted to look sharper than usual. He has known about this for a few weeks and had the outfit picked out (pants, dress shirt, tie all from Express that fit him like. a. glove.). Anyhow, after doing night care of the babe (the TEETHING babe with a possible EAR INFECTION starting) I probably only got as much sleep as mister "I work 'til 3am and don't see my family." So, this morning at 6:30 I am trying to get Felicia back to sleep for the umpteenth time when my husband's alarm starts going off. I am simultaneously comforting the babe and kicking the man out of bed. He rolled out of bed at 7:02. He was shooting to leave home at 7:30 to get to the client's office. He showers quickly, then freaks out because he hasn't shaved his scruffy face and his pants haven't been ironed. I get up and ask him what he needs me to do. He glares (overly tired men are really like women). I ask/yell "WHAT DO YOU NEED ME TO DO TO HELP YOU?" "My pants, my pants!" he cries. To be fair, I guess I couldn't have shaved for him. But I was tired and not being logical when I asked what he needed me to do. In my defense, he should be able to ask me to iron his pants instead of just getting mad and expecting me to offer. So, I iron his pants. I do the best I can, but I am not good at ironing! I avoid it at all costs, in fact.
So, ladies...Do you iron for your husbands? I feel like I should watch some youtube tutorials or something and get better, but I don't want The Bee to expect that I will be his personal ironing slave, especially when I am home next year.
Now, because I am overly tired and have only had 2 sips of coffee thus far and it seems like a big deal this very moment...I have to share that I missed buzzing in the diaper service because I was ironing said pants for my husband. GREAT. Now we have a week's worth of dirty diapers to hang on to for another week. And possibly no clean diapers for the coming 7 days. Hopefully they left the cleans in the lobby. I'll have to wait to check, though, because that teething, ear infection suffering girl is now SOUND ASLEEP at 8:15am.
And in case it is unclear, I really do love my husband. I just hate his job.
Yep, I do the ironing in our house. I don't consider myself an ironing pro, but I feel like I can at least get the job done so my husband doesn't look like a slob :)
ReplyDeleteHa! Yes, I am decent. It takes me longer than I'd like, though. Which is why I maybe need to watch some tutorials. Did your mom teach you to iron? My mom rarely ironed. Pretty much she only ironed her sewing fabrics. Would it be stupid for me to ask my mother-in-law to teach me? She is a pro. Ugh. Right now I feel like, "Hey, dude, I am working outside the home as well. Don't put your wrinkly clothes on my to-do list." Again, the sleep deprived brain is making all of this seem worse than it actually is.
DeleteI would totally be frustrated by this, too!! Alright. Matt and I have very little that ever gets ironed. It's a combination of being careful to buy stuff that won't need it, and also being lazy and not caring if our stuff is slightly rumpled. :) So ironing is a very seldom event for either of us. But in the event that it does need to happen, Matt is just as likely as me to do it. I'll see him pulling out the ironing board and setting stuff up and pulling out 3 of his shirts to do...if I have something that could also use some attention, he may offer to do mine or I may just tag team off him after he's done. I mean, half the issue is just dragging out all that stuff and getting it set up. Ugh. If I have a few things to do and initiate the ironing, I'll usually ask if he has stuff I can do. Like I said...it happens so infrequently, I think we're both pretty good about helping out when it needs to happen. And it's usually on a Tuesday night during TV or something, never at 7 am when we're in a rush-- then it would definitely be every man for himself!!
ReplyDeleteOh man - I feel like you just described a day in my life (with some details different of course), but good to know it isn't just me/us! Like Erika above, we aren't much of an ironing family. However, when it is needed, either of us is just as likely as the other to do it. But here's my secret: I actually LOVE ironing. I know this is weird. I can't really explain why, I just know I'd much rather do that than a lot of other chores around the house! My mom always did my dad's stuff (still does... he wears a suit most days) so I learned at a young age from her. She's a total pro too. If I lived closer to you, I'd totally offer to help/show you some tips :) But I say, go ahead and ask your MIL - no shame there! P.S. I read your last post and have nothing helpful to offer, except to say that you are clearly a wonderful friend who is trying your best to be sensitive and supportive to someone dealing with a horrible tragedy. I have a book on grief somewhere that my pastor gave me once. If I find it I'll shoot you the title, maybe it will have something helpful?
ReplyDeleteFor some reason your post from Monday didn't show up in my feed? That is so terrible and I cannot even imagine how one picks up the pieces from something like that... I have read before that people that lose a child really are comforted by knowing that others will remember their child (not just them), so I think your gestures were on the right track. And maybe just checking in to provide some encouragement or a listening ear a few months down the road when a lot of the people have "moved on" would help, too?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I do most of the ironing, but Brian does his share as well. But like Erika and Matt, we intentionally buy non-iron shirts/pants for him whenever we can so there isn't a lot of ironing to be done at our house, thankfully!
I thought I commented on your last post. Sorry. I'll give you my shortened version here.... My good friend gave birth to a sleeping baby and it was heartbreaking. I let her shape the conversation. I honestly never know what to say and the article that you posted was super helpful!
ReplyDeleteIroning - NO WAY! I hate ironing. I will go out of my way to buy things that will never need ironing. You are a better person than me to help him out with his pants!
When we first got married my husband and I were both working/going to school full time. I had to be at work at 8 and he at 9, so I was gone before him, which led to him ironing his own clothes. Even once we were both working at the same place, he kept ironing his own clothes and I never stopped him. And even though I'm now a SAHM and should probably do all of the ironing... I don't! I think on some level this drives my mom crazy because she still irons all of her's and my dad's clothes before they go into the closet (including t-shirts!) but I just think of myself as a feminist by letting my husband do his own ;)
ReplyDeleteI also just saw your post on Monday and I think you had a great response. You may also want to set a reminder in or on your calendar to send a card for the first birthday and first anniversary of the death. Those will both be hard days anyway, so I'm sure they would appreciate knowing that other people are remembering him on that day.
Yes, my husband should definitely iron all of his own clothes. He forbids use of the clothes dryer and says if I use it anyway and it breaks before 2016, he will NOT replace it until then. I am over 60 and he just got me a dishwasher and garbage disposal this year. We are not in a third world country, praise the Lord, and God has blessed us with ample income to use a dryer without going into debt. But I think having him iron all his clothing is a wonderful concession for him to have to make, as well as carting outside the heavy baskets of wet clothing to hang them on the line as well. I am not a feminist by the way, but my friends will be horrified in conversation when they find out no clothes dryers allowed until 2016 in our home. I am perfectly secure in them finding out. Dear hubby will no doubt hear an earful from other women. It's a no-win situation for him.
ReplyDeleteA very high quality Non Wrinkle and Non Sweat dress shirt using special imported woven KoolBiz microfibre fabric to give a very high quality look and feel without the sweat. With no outer stitching seams, the shirt has a very smooth and sleek unique look. Most stains just wash straight out in the wash without any special powders or rubbing. 7 western sizes from XS to XXXL so suitable for men or women. 30 Day money back guarantee. Here are available non wrinkle shirts, non iron shirts, non wrinkle dress shirts, non iron business shirts, business shirts Australia, Dress Shirts Australia, business shirts USA, Dress Shirts USA, womens dress shirts and womens business shirts.
ReplyDelete