Only the beginning

Yesterday we saw my Mom's family for Easter. We were at my Grandma's and it was easy to be in good spirits for most of the celebration. My Grandma prepared a vegetarian, gluten free dish just for me which was very kind and made me feel loved and looked after. We visited with my relatives, Skyped with my sister who is studying abroad for the semester, and cuddled with my Grandma's dogs.

Then, near the end of the party, an overwhelming sadness came over me. Most of the guests had already left so thankfully it wasn't embarrassing. Only The Bee, my Mom, my Grandma and I remained. My Grandma asked, "What are all of these tears for? Are you nervous about your surgery in June?" I could only nod because I had a big knot in my throat. She gave me a hug and told me to stop writing the end to a story that is only beginning. She asked if I prayed. I said, "Yes" and she asked, "To who?" I responded, "I say the Our Father, Hail Mary and pray to St. Gerard daily." Then she took something out of her pocket and closed my hand around it.

It is a rosary that she got in Rome several years ago. It was blessed by Pope John Paul II while she was there. She told me that she carries a rosary with her everywhere. "Even if you aren't praying it, you need to keep this with you. And please know that God knows your desires without all of these tears and worries. Worrying won't help. Enjoying life will. You are a young, bright woman with a wonderful husband who loves you. Your life is good. After your surgery, you won't be able to turn the babies off! So please don't cry. This is only the beginning."