Infertility clinic visit #1

The appointment went really well today. I picked The Bee up at his work and we drove to the clinic together. Side note: It was the first time I have been to The Bee's office and, holy cow!, it is a BEAUTIFUL building with fanciness everywhere! It has tons of plants and fancy staircases and it is especially lovely right now because it was all decorated for Christmas!

Okay, back to the appointment...

We arrived at the clinic (which is only an 8 minute drive from The Bee's office, NICE!) and I had to sign some paper work saying that I understand that I am responsible for any payments for services that insurance won't cover. Then they took my picture (I tried to look good for the appointment but made the mistake of wearing my naturally curly hair down on a windy, December day - oops!) for my file (to prevent identity fraud, apparently). Then they weighed me (unfortunately I am down another pound, but more on that later) and took my blood pressure.

When I got to the exam room, I held my composure while the assistant took down a few more bits of information. She seemed a little uncomfortable asking The Bee if he had fathered any children and if he has had a semen analysis done (answer to both = no). Then she left and said the doctor would be in shortly.

The doctor came in about 5 minutes later and went over some of the records sent from my general physician and the specialist at my doctor's office. She asked us for our story so far and of course I started to cry! The Bee held my hand the whole time, though, which helped my cry substantially LESS than I have at all of the other appointments that I went to by myself. She was very nonjudgmental and also very kind. She seemed glad that I know a lot about my cycle (who wouldn't after 5 years of charting CM and 4.5 months of charting bbt?!) and hormones and what they do but at one point she did say that she was recommending an "Internet Moratorium." Haha! The Bee laughed pretty hard at that because all along he has been telling me not to look up all of the things that could possibly be wrong with me (it's not like I've told him I am insulin resistant, have a gluten allergy, have a "cold uterus" and hostile cervical mucus, low progesterone, a pituitary tumor...oh, NO...I have NEVER used the internet and test results to diagnose myself and in turn make myself completely cuckoo and practically impossible to live with! Not me!).

Her opinion, given the results from my previous blood tests and ultrasound, is that it may not be PCOS. She isn't ruling it out at this point, but said more testing needs to be done. She said I didn't have very many cysts and that they are larger than most PCOS patients have. At least 2 of them were like 2cm - which freaks me out a little because it sounds BIG (and not good) but she didn't seem concerned when I asked about it. She asked what cycle date the blood labs (cd 21 in November) and the u/s (cd 13 in December) were done and kind of seemed like, "Hmm...those are not the best days to do those tests..."

Then she asked what cycle date I am today. It is cd 2 (boo for AF over the holidays!) and she said it would be the perfect day to do the first blood work! So today they drew blood to test (from what I can remember) FSH, LH, prolactin (to see if that high level was a fluke in November or if my level is consistently high), estrogen, and androgens (which, of course, includes testosterone). That should help figure out if it is PCOS or something else, or something else and PCOS...here I go making myself crazy again! I also have an u/s scheduled for next Saturday morning (New Year's Eve!) to check my follicles. And I have to start using my ovulation predictor kit (thank you, Amanda, for the info about OPKs!) so that they can do another u/s 5 or 6 days after I get a + on it. Even though I don't know any new news, I feel like we are making progress! She also gave The Bee a referral for his SA. I will be glad (and possibly sad, mad, shocked...) to finally start to figure out what is going on with us!

She asked if we had any questions and I asked if my vegetarian diet could be part of the problem. She said it could be contributing if I am not getting enough protein and fats, but probably isn't the main issue. I told her about how I have cut out almost all gluten from my diet since August (due to constant stomachaches) but she seemed to think that less gluten = generally healthy.  And then I told her how now am worried about eating too much sugar (because of my self diagnosed insulin resistance after my sort-of diagnoses of PCOS) and too much dairy (after I read about all of the yucky hormones in, like, EVERY dairy product I eat). Through tears I asked, "How can I eat anything if I have to be a gluten-free, diabetic vegan?!"  She told me not to limit myself too much and that low BMI can cause problems while ttc. She actually recommended that I eat full fat, organic dairy from now on since my BMI is currently borderline low (not on purpose, I truly think it is stress!) and that I not worry about sugar at this point (but of course try to avoid refined sugar and processed food, which I think The Bee and I do a pretty good job of already). The sugar thing really makes me feel better because I love fruit and eat a lot of it (especially clementines and pineapple, which are pretty sugary). And the dairy thing made me feel better because I eat a lot of yogurt (with frozen blueberries in it) for protein and I LOVE cheese! I communicated that I have been trying everything I can think of to make better choices and to "fix" whatever I am doing wrong. She looked at me with the most gentle eyes and said, "You aren't doing anything wrong. You can't blame yourself for this, even though it is easy to go down that road. We will figure this out!"

She also told me to take care of myself (specifically make time for my YOGA and she recommended getting massages every once in a while). Oh! And the BEST part of the appointment today? The doctor actually TOLD me to STOP taking my bbt! She said that if you don't sleep consistently(which I don't) it is not very useful and it causes many women in my situation undue stress. So, hooray! No more bbt charting! Although now I have to start the OPKs...

Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas:)