Stupid anxiety...

Fair warning: this post most certainly contains TMI...

Tonight I sit alone blogging again. The Bee is probably not getting home until way too late tonight (last night it was 1am. crikey!). This time I am not crying though (finished that up in the car) and I am enjoying some lovely cranberry juice. I pretty much convinced myself that I had a UTI and went to Urgent Care. I've never had one before, and I didn't have many of the symptoms I read about on the 100% accurate and always correct internet (broke the moratorium again but I figure it wasn't directly related to fertility stuff so it doesn't count) but I've been having pain mainly on my left side for 4 days now (so, no, not ovulation related since my mature follicle was on my right and, besides, my body apparently doesn't want to ovulate) and I thought my urine looked weird (I've gotten to see my pee very frequently and in much finer detail while doing the little OPK dipstick things).

Also, I am a teacher and teachers don't get to just take restroom breaks whenever they need to and I've been trying to not pee as often or drink as much water during the day so I'd catch a + on the OPK's and The Bee and I have had frequent bd sessions (and I fell asleep after a few without getting up to pee - oops). All of those seem like obvious UTI risk factors to me. So, I freaked myself out and decided that it would be better to treat it if that was the cause of my pain and the weird looking pee. 

The doctor at Urgent Care was a really funny, old man who treated me for at least 75% of the cases of strep throat I had in elementary school. He is still really funny and now he's really old, too. They did a urinalysis (good thing I have so much practice peeing in cups as of late...my aim was impeccable) and everything came back perfect. So he, being a funny, old man, thought that I should have a pelvic exam but he doesn't do them anymore (he made sure to tell me that) so I was brought to another exam room with the doctor who still does perform pelvic exams.

She was a young doctor in her mid-30s. After I told her that I have a follicle u/s scheduled tomorrow and that I am being seen at the other clinic for infertility, she offered to test me for a few things but said it was up to me since they can't really do a whole lot at Urgent Care and she didn't think I had any of the stuff she could test for, like "horrible STDs" as she put it. I talked to her a bit more and she was very encouraging about our whole baby making endeavor and she said she'd send "fertile vibes" my way, which cracked me up. She mentioned the mind-body connection and said that I am probably just noticing every little thing, which is common when struggling with fertility issues.

Next, I went to Target and picked up cranberry juice to help prevent any future UTIs. Then I called The Bee and told him I have perfect urine. Then I drove home and cried when James Taylor sang "You've Got a Friend" on the radio. Now that I know I don't have a UTI, I am going to choose to believe that the pains I am experiencing are the same pains I had before cutting gluten out of my diet. I have really fallen off the wagon with that since the holidays are chock-full of gluten. Cookies, breads, crackers to go with cheese balls...I know I haven't been eating as well and my stomach is not happy about it. However, I am up one pound since last being weighed, and for that I am thankful to gluten and whole milk yogurt.

Tomorrow is a new day! I have no idea what they will tell me at the u/s, but, as I try to tell myself every day, we are taking steps in the best direction possible by finding out as much as we can.