Bonding over hardship

Yesterday was the first day that I got to see all of my co-workers this school year! It was great to catch up and find out who is going to school to seek advanced degrees, to hear about weddings and engagements that happened over the summer, and to hear details of lots of travel adventures (one of my fellow teachers went to London for the Olympics - whoa!). I also got to make the announcement to all of the teachers about Ponyo.

When some of the women asked about when we found out, they seem shocked that I have kept quiet with my news for this long. I was honest with them about how long it took, how we were seeing a specialist, my diagnosis and my scheduled surgery. I was very surprised when 3 (THREE!) other women who teach in my school shared their stories of infertility with me. I had no idea! And one of these women is one of the three teachers who gave birth to her first child last spring! She, in particular, shared her joy with me. She acknowledged how hard last year must have been for me to see three pregnant ladies all year and attend the showers and be present for the lunch chatter about babies and nurseries and names and ultrasounds. She gave me a hug and told me that she is so happy that we are now expecting our own miracle baby, "This baby is a miracle, you know!" she said through tears.

It makes me sad that these three women suffered alone at work, much like I did, out of fear, shame, embarrassment, worry about being pc in the workplace - whatever their reason was for keeping this information completely hidden. I am not sure why in our culture we are so secretive about things like this. I wish I had been more open BEFORE. I am being open now, so hopefully if any other co-workers of mine are experiencing something similar they will know I have ears open and hugs ready for those hard days! Those of us who have experienced or are experiencing infertility are not alone and people do care!